Self Indulgence

Yesterday on my walk to the bus stop the sprinklers came on. (This shouldn’t have been a problem, but I usually walk on the grass when the opportunity arises, it’s better for your feet, and I was in the middle of the “danger zone” when they started, wetting me enough as to be uncomfortable, but not enough to soak through.) Not cool, Langford.

Aside from my impromptu second shower I have been having a pretty good week. I’ve stuck to my schedule of writing every day for the last week, though I don’t post everything I write. (You should thank me for that. Seriously. I expect a Thank You note, handwritten and delivered directly.) Also, I made it home alive from both jobs and, to top it all off, I finally got (under)paid.

Life is good.

Life is very good.

And what better way to reward myself for a week well done than to indulge in my two favourite pastimes: writing lists and talking about myself?

Thus I bring to you without further ado “The Awesome List” (or “10 Things You Didn’t Need to Know”):

1) About once a month I obsessively start listening to Josh Ritter again. This lasts anywhere from two to six days.

2) I DON’T GO A DAY WITHOUT ABUSING ALL CAPS.

3) I’m only smooth when no one is looking. (Seriously, remind me to tell you one day about the time I tripped over my coffee table, did a mid-air flip and landed on my feet while home alone.)
(Scratch that, you don’t need to remind me, I just told you about it.)

4) I’m still angry that my Dad wouldn’t let me join gymnastics.

5) Following that, I’m still grateful to my Mom for letting me quit the soccer team and sea cadets.

6) Sometimes I create my own “alphabet pattern” so people don’t judge me for alphabetizing everything.

A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

R I Z Q H Y P G X O F W N E V M D U L C T K B S J A

Get it?

7) Every once in a while I get the urge to email my Dad using fake binary code. (0 for vowels, 1 for consonants).

8 ) It’s because of facts 6 and 7, and a host of other quirky habits, that I’m sure I will stay single. It’s all part of my perma-awkward state of being.

9) Getting to know me has three phases:
a) the shy awkward phase
b) the droll and witty awkward phase
c) the exuberantly entertaining awkward phase (complete with alliteration and excessive excitement)

And finally,

10) I only make lists ending in even numbers or multiples of five. The only exception to this is my occasional bakers’ dozen rants.

As an aside, I never know how to end these listed posts. It’s times like these I really wish I had a catch phrase …

PS. My comma key broke down during this post. Perhaps I should reconsider my comma overuse? … Perhaps, but probably not.

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