NBFF (New Best Friends Forever)

I have a new best friend.

This is a bit of a controversial statement as my sister has always been my best friend (and still is, for the most part – no one can replace my sister) but my new friend and I just have a bond that has developed so quickly into something deep and irreplaceable.

We first met on June 4^th though I saw her picture a few weeks before and just knew that we would be close. It sounds weird but it’s the truth. You know that feeling you get when you see something and just know that your life is about to change? That was the feeling I got when I saw her. It was the eyes that did me in, brown and soulful. She has the type of eyes that just instantly let you know everything is going to be ok.

No. Not just ok. Better than ok.

Within days of meeting we became inseparable. We go for walks together every day, usually twice a day. We plan adventures and cuddle on the couch to watch Netflix. Kevin loves her too which is making our constant companionship possible. And my sister, Julia, adores her. They even go on adventures together without me (I try to pretend I am not jealous, but they both know I am).

And to top it all off my best friend is literally a Ninja.

This girl sneaks, jumps, and plays like a character from Daredevil. It comes naturally to her and is pretty darn cool. I would be envious if I didn’t love her so much. She has limitless energy! It’s almost exhausting but it balances out my cautious personality perfectly.

She never talks over me and lets me voice my opinions, no matter how silly or stressed.

She always has a hug for me, even when I think I don’t need one.

She has helped tremendously with my anxiety, forcing me to leave the house and just get outside when all I want to do is curl up and sleep.

She understands me and loves me unconditionally, no matter what.

Sure, she likes to try and steal food off my plate (a pet peeve of mine) but everything else about her is so amazing I can overlook this one flaw.

I just know that we are in this together for the long haul and I can’t say how happy that makes me.

Without further ado I am pleased to introduce you, Dear Reader, to my best friend.

Ninja.

Friendly Not Flirty (Dear Gentleman Barista)

Dear Gentleman Barista,

I am sorry if I made you uncomfortable when I winked at you this morning. I recognize now that it was a weird thing to do especially with the lineup of people behind me. I will know better next time and promise to only wink when the place is empty.

Or, you know, just never wink again.

Also I am doubly sorry for loudly stating that I was being “friendly, not flirty” before laughing awkwardly and bumping into the gift card display. I just wanted to be clear and wasn’t sure how best to get the message across. Perhaps I should have just slid you a note? Either way, I think drawing attention to myself definitely made me seem more ‘flirty than friendly’ which was obviously not what I was going for.

I suppose silence is best in situations like this.

Honestly this nervousness is just because I have no idea how to act around you. Your penchant for giving me free stuff makes me uncomfortable as I am not sure if it’s because you “like me” or if it is meant as an apology for how you always spell my name wrong. (It’s Sarah with an H!)

I am not comfortable with people “liking me”. It’s weird and I don’t like it …

Alas, I do love not having to pay for soy and getting the occasional pretzel for free has the power to turn my frown upside down every time. Thank you for this.

To get back on point I really just want to make sure I am not leading you on in any way with my adorable awkwardness.
(My super cuteness factor isn’t something I can just turn off. It comes naturally to me.)

I promise I will give it up one day …
I mean Starbucks. Get your mind out of the gutter.

The truth is I am quite happy with my current paramour and while I don’t think he can make a very good latte I still would like to keep him around. This doesn’t mean I don’t appreciate you and the awesome work you do, it just means this awkward tension between us is never going to go anywhere. Ever.

Was that too blunt?

My bad.

I hope we can continue our relationship of Barista/Customer both knowing that this is as far as it will ever go.

I also really hope you can start spelling my name right as it is one of my biggest Pet Peeves, though I am sure I can let it go if I must.
(That’s a lie, I will never let it go and if the opportunity ever presents itself I will definitely spell your name wrong!)

Thank you for your time (and for all of the free stuff).

Sincerely,
S.M.R.P

PS. If your interest in me is because you think I have money please know that I don’t. I come to Starbucks all the time not because I can afford it, but because I am reckless and irresponsible.

PPS. Awkwardly winking at you and almost knocking over a display still isn’t the most embarrassing thing to happen to me at a Starbucks … Perhaps it’s time I just stop going? … … One day.