Ugly Selfies (Now That’s a Blog!)

Ever since I bought my first digital camera in the fall of grade twelve I have been hooked on taking weird pictures of myself. Sure, I will pose if pressed for the occasional pretty selfie, but for the most part I just like to make super awkward faces when I stare into the camera and the digital days have made this all the more easy.

Gone are the oh so nostalgic days of film rolls and eagerly getting pictures developed only to find out that everyone in the picture is blinking except the one person who wasn’t even supposed to be in the picture in the first place and of course they have eyes redder than the devil. Sure I miss the mystery, but who wants to pay for all that wasted film?

Now I can just take dozens of pictures until I finally hit that one shot (usually around number forty) that everyone loves.

Or, you know, I can just make silly faces into the reverse camera on my iPhone when I am sitting home alone and bored with a perfectly reasonable size glass of wine.

Really, it’s the best of both worlds.

To be honest I am not sure where my obsession with silly faces came from. As a child I definitely only did the bunny ears in photos when other people were doing it first (I was a bandwagon bunny-ear-er) and I grew up used to having to smile appropriately when having my photo taken (my Mom was a photographer). Still, this obsession took hold and has shown no signs of letting me go.

It was a day like any other day and I decided to take a picture. I remember it all so clearly, holding the camera out just so when suddenly and without warning my eyes squished up, my mouth twisted unnaturally and awkwardly, and I managed to get the perfect flare in my nostrils. It was glorious.

This obsession has gotten so bad that even when I genuinely try to look nice I just end up doing my “selfie” face which is a cross between a happy puppy and a slightly deranged and overeager customer service worker.

Whatever, I still dig it.

Dear reader, I honestly believe that a silly, funny picture always wins out over the overly posed photos that have become so popular these days. Sure, it’s fun to spend an hour trying to get the perfect shot, but you know what’s even more fun? Actually doing something with that hour!

So smile pretty or smile silly, just smile, have a good time, and don’t stress over ugly pictures!

I spend a lot more time than I should admit making this face.

I spend a lot more time than I should admit making this face.

My Boyfriend, The Serial Killer?

Kevin would probably hate me writing about him, but seeing as how he doesn’t (usually) read this blog, and he is out of the country right now, I think it’s fair to say that I get a pass this time. Especially since today is his birthday.

Happy Birthday, Kevin!

To commemorate this special occasion I have decided to tell a quick story about the time we met Penn and Teller. (Notice how I said that so nonchalantly? As if we run into celebrities all the time and it’s a regular occurrence for us to just have photo ops with famous people? … Yeah, that’s a bit misleading.)

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Mmm. If this is what Liver Damage tastes like than I like it!

Kevin and I were in Vegas last February and on our last night we went to see Penn and Teller’s show at the Flamingo. I’m not going to lie, it was wickedly cool. I have been a huge fan of Penn and Teller’s ever since I was a wee young’un and it was unbelievably surreal to be sitting in the audience, watching them on stage, their overpriced signature cocktails in hand.

The moment that Teller performed his famous balloon trick blew my mind and ended up being my favourite Vegas memory. Penn’s rant about psychics and charlatans stirred my heart. And the bullet finale? Well that was just super cool.

After the show we were buzzing from the excitement of the performance and the several ounces of hard liquor sloshing around inside us and together we eagerly waited for Penn and Teller, cameras in hand and thrilled to get a chance to meet them.

Teller came first, playing the crowd and snapping selfies left, right and centre (I have yet to see or meet anyone who is better at the Selfie than Teller). We watched in awe, Kevin laughing at me as I turned into a Fan Girl.

And then it was our turn.

I took a moment to gush to Teller, telling him about my first Magic Memory when I watched his performance on television with my Dad. He made a joke about me being young. It was glorious.

Then we all settled in to take the picture, me edging close to Teller and Kevin … well …

“Wow!” exclaimed Teller, directing all of his attention to Kevin. “You’ve got this kind of Serial Killer vibe going. Very creepy.” And then he snapped the photo and moved on to the next group of fans, leaving the two of us giggling (me) and stunned (Kevin).

Teller, the adorable mute half of the Penn and Teller duo, had just told my boyfriend he seemed like a serial killer.

I probably would have giggled less if this had been the first time this had happened.

Well, to be accurate, I suppose it was the first time that a celebrity of some sorts had said this to Kevin, but it wasn’t the first time it had been said to him.

And it was hilarious.

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Kevin the Killer lurks behind, smiling sinisterly as he waits, his arm stretched across blocking any chance of escape.

PS. Happy Birthday, Kevin. For what it’s worth, I don’t think you are sociopathic in the slightest. With all my heart, SMRP.