Subconsciously Boring

Over the last week I have had a disturbing number of dreams about work.

First I had a nightmare where my work phone was replaced with a massive old school rotary phone and my computer was swapped with one from the early 90’s. The image of those large floppy discs piled up in front of me and teetering on the edge of my desk is still burned in my mind.

We used to have one of these when I was a young'en and I have such fond memories of playing 'Clyde' and 'Cosmo' on its glowing green screen!

We used to have one of these when I was a young’en and I have such fond memories of playing ‘Clyde’ and ‘Cosmo’ on its glowing green screen!

It was horrifying.

Then on Thursday night I dreamed about an entire work day, start to finish, and then felt completely cheated when I actually had to go to work on Friday morning. Apparently dream work days don’t count no matter how accurate they are.
(At least that’s what my boss told me. I am still waiting on a second opinion.)

Finally last night I dreamed that I had brought my filing proposal to my boss and she loved it which was awesome and so delightful! Then I woke up which ruined everything. Everyone knows that when you dream about something important going well it is obviously going to be a disaster in reality. That’s just science.

Obviously work has been on my mind so much lately that it has invaded my subconscious and I am not very happy about it. Sure, I love my job, but the 40 hours a week is more than enough thank you very much.

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This is why I have decided to gift you, dear reader, with a list of “Ten Things I Would Much Rather Dream about than Work” (Or, “Even My Subconscious is Boring”). Hopefully this list will inspire me to be a bit more interesting in my sleep.

  1. Hogwarts, Obviously.
  2. Being a Mermaid.
  3. Traveling with The Doctor and going into the future so that we can binge watch all of the planned Marvel Movies.
  4. Owning a pet Dinosaur.
  5. Sleep. (I figure if I dream about sleep that counts as double the rest, right?)
  6. Being best friends with Felicia Day.
  7. Traveling.
  8. Having my own cooking show.
  9. Finding out I have enough points for 10 free movies on my Scene Card.
  10. Writing a novel AND mastering the art of wearing my glasses on the end of my nose in order to look more sophisticated. (Those two things go hand in hand, right?)

Now I just have to train myself to think about one of these things really hard right before I fall asleep. Wish me luck!

Dreams of Hogwarts, Dinosaurs, Sleeping, and Marvel Oh My!

Dreams of Hogwarts, Dinosaurs, Sleeping, and Marvel Oh My!

Love Letters, pt. 9

Dear Felicia Day (Again),

I hope that the Love Letters I wrote after writing yours have not caused you to doubt my love for you in any way. You’re still number one in my heart (even if you don’t read my blog).

If anything, writing my love letters to other people has only strengthened my love of you. After all, Jack Black, though extremely dreamy, does not hold a candle to you. Not to mention my obsession with Harry Potter is apparently “unhealthy” and “a bit odd” considering he is fictional. Whatever.

But I digress.

The truth is I felt the need to write you a second letter not just to express my love but also my to show my respect.

I have those same wine glasses! It's a sign <3

I have those same wine glasses! It’s a sign ❤

Since writing my first letter to you I have gone back and re-watched all the episodes of your Flog and other uploads to YouTube. I even dreamed one night that you wrote a book which I obviously read. It was great (both the book and the dream).

Your awkwardness and ability to own your quirkiness truly is an inspiration to me, especially on days when I feel too weird for words.

(I feel vaguely stalker-ish right now. I promise you, despite all the signs that clearly say “Stranger Danger”, I really am not that weird. Well, I am that weird, but not “creepy” weird … Ok. Not “dangerously creepy” creepy, just run of the mill creepy. Like an overeager puppy. … I’m going to stop explaining myself now.)

Any way … I had hoped to have you one day read my Love Letter (I guess “Letters” now) and see them for the compliment they truly are. You kick ass, girlfriend! (Ok, never saying that again.)

Instead I fear I have joined the ranks of creepsters who send you unbelievably inappropriate messages on Facebook without the slightest bit of shame. I blush when I read the comments section of your Facebook and YouTube pages. People are gross. I know that I was a bit risqué in my last letter and I hope that did not offend you. (I know it didn’t because you don’t read my blog, but I won’t hold that against you.)

But I digress, again.

I just wanted to take another opportunity to gush about you.

You are probably the coolest person ever in the universe and I love you a lot. Thank you for being my imaginary best friend and also for making the wonderfully entertaining entertainments that make up Geek and Sundry possible.

I hope one day that I will be able to meet you and not frighten you by being super intense and eager. You see, Felicia, I honestly feel that if I manage not to creep you out we would get along great and then be super tight and delightfully quirky as friends (probably even better friends than Rachael and Monica, and they were, like, really good friends).

A girl can dream.

Until then,

S.M.R.P

I imagine our first meeting will look something like this. Thank you for smiling politely.

I imagine our first meeting will look something like this. I will do my best not to be super awkward, but I make no promises.

Love Letters, pt 4. My Forbidden Love

Dear Felicia Day,

I want to date your Avatar (cause, you know, you haven’t heard that one before).

Ok. That was lame. Let me try this again …

Dear Felicia Day,

You know that t-shirt that says “Always Be Yourself! Unless you can be Batman. Then always be Batman.”? Well, I want that t-shirt. But I also want a second one that says your name in place of Batman.

I love you. Seriously. Like, a lot. Words can’t even describe it. You are brilliant, a true nerd, and a natural red head. Your Flog inspires me and your tweets make me laugh (#lol). (Or, at least, I assume they would if I actually went on Twitter.)

I have watched every episode of “The Guild” at least twice, have all of the songs in “Dr. Horrible’s Sing Along Blog” memorized, think “Spooked” is really cool, and have been a regular subscriber to Geek and Sundry since it began. I also follow you on Facebook and Instagram. Though I don’t follow you in person. That would be illegal and super weird.

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BFF, just pretend that statue face is me. I’ll forgive you for not knowing that I hate ice cream cones.

Aside from that one dream I had about Kate Winslet (which still makes me blush) you are the only girl I have ever loved.  And unlike my love for Sheldon Cooper (carnal) and my love for Alex Edler (superficial) my love for you is pure. I honestly just want to be your very best friend forever and ever.
(But not in a creepy way. As of yet there are no kidnapping plans and I don’t have a replica of your house with card board cutouts in my basement or anything. In fact, I don’t even have a basement.)

I just really think you’re cool.

But more than that, I think you are an inspiration. Your video on writing made me want to write again. (My loyal reader, aka my Dad, thanks you for this.) And while I’ve personally never had any desire to milk a goat, I’m sure your other videos have inspired people to do things too.

From your creation of “The Guild” to the inception of Geek and Sundry, you have paved the way for so many people to follow their passions and do what they love. Your blog is both insightful and funny. You are proof that being nerdy isn’t a stigma. That quirkiness has an honoured place in society.

And also you’re unbelievably gorgeous. Like, bombtastically beautiful.

I love you, Felicia Day. You’re the best imaginary BFF a girl could have.

Sincerely,
SMRP