Dear Pinterest

Dear Pinterest,

You’re a dirty rotten liar.

Adding Jell-O Powder to my icing did not act as an awesome substitute for food colouring. No, it definitely did not. Instead I was left with a grainy and disgusting sugary mess that jump-starts diabetes and hurt my teeth from sheer sweetness. To add insult to injury, my Berry Blue Jell-O powder turned my icing green! I needed blue! Blue, gosh darn it!

Also, putting a marshmallow on my cupcake for the last minute of baking did not give me a fluffy and tasty treat. Instead it hardened into a teeth cracking crystalized mess.
(And those were the successful ones! Don’t even get me started on the mess the rest of those exploding marshmallows caused!)

And as for your DIY crayon art suggestions? I’m pretty sure mine was *this close* to catching fire and, even though my house was blissfully not burned down, my canvas still just looked like a melted brown sludge of wax.

No, that doesn’t sound very pretty. Thank you for noticing.

Really? You’re going to try and blame User Error?

I hate you.

Mostly.

Sincerely,
S.M.R.P

PS. Despite my current hatred for you I will still continue to Pin away my spare hours. A love this strong doesn’t disappear after a few bitter memories.

This is the face of betrayal. And sadness. Sad betrayal.

This is the face of betrayal. And sadness.
Sad betrayal.

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9 thoughts on “Dear Pinterest

  1. It’s been a while since Pinterest has been taken to task like this (2 minutes ago), but it’s about time someone did it. I’m so proud of you Sarah! But, just a heads up, it takes the Pinterest Gestapo 23 minutes and 10 seconds to reach a Pinterest verbal attackers door. With a tail wind maybe a little less. Did you pack and secure your passport before your impulsive outburst? No reason, just curious.

  2. Sarah, get a grip on yourself, girl.

    Pininterest is an abuser and will always be. Sure, it says, “Sorry about the green icing, dear, I’ll do better next time.” You got to stop believing that! Things will never get better, only worse. How many exploding marshmallows must you endure?

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