Friend Resume, Part Deux

Well, Dear Readers, you asked for it! (Or maybe I’m just pretending you did? Whatever.) Here it is, for your reading pleasure, my very own Friend Resume! Hopefully this means we can be friends for real now and hang out sometimes. I’ll make quiche …

Sarah Porter

Objective


To become your friend. Perhaps not your best friend, but who knows? Maybe we have lots in common? Maybe we will even plan trips together and go on double dates all the time? And play board games!

Skills and Experience


Organization and Communication

  • I am an excellent colour coder and love the recreational use of excel.
  • I have over 10 years of experience in planning Theme Nights and hosting small parties which I like to call “Gatherings” (you know, for the sophistication factor).
  • I always text back within 6 hours unless I am out of town, in which case I have already let you know I am out of town and have set up an out of office on my voicemail.
  • I use the Facebook ‘Like’ button sparingly so that when I do use it you know I am being sincere.
  • I am a wonderful listener and very rarely let on when I am judging you.
  • I’m definitely not interested in your significant other. Like, at all.
    (But that in no way reflects on you and your taste. I’m just very happy with my fella. No, your partner isn’t awful (well …) … Can we just avoid this topic until we’re both drunk?)

Hobbies (or, Things We Might Have in Common)

  • Crafts and Pinterest Nights
  • Board Games
  • Baking (and eating)
  • Writing/Blogging
  • Super Cool Things (Doctor Who, Marvel Comics, Harry Potter … you know, awesome stuff)
  • Reading and Starting Book Clubs that never actually amount to anything
  • Drinking Beer
  • Hiking

Friendship History


The Board Game Peeps                  November 2013 – Present
We play board games. Perhaps you can join us? Unless you’re super competitive in which case we can only hold it on nights that you are busy.
In the interest of full disclosure we don’t actually call ourselves ‘Peeps’ … I don’t really know why I’m saying it now. 

Former Chapters Co-Workers    September 2009 – Present (Kind of …)
I mean, sure, we don’t hang out very often now but that’s because I moved … probably. Back in the day we hung out all the time!

The “A Team”                                       January 1997 to April 1997
(no, not that “A Team” … I am referring to the popular group in Elementary School)
I was one of the “Cool Girls” in school for almost four months! That was definitely a record for a socially awkward and kinda chubby tom boy …

Julia Porter                                           April 1987 – Present
We basically have all the fun! And our Mom only forces her to hang out with me half the time, the rest is because she actually wants to!
Ok. Maybe 75%….

REFERENCES PROVIDED UPON REQUEST
Or you can just call my Dad!

Esteemed Blogger Friends! Now it’s your turn! Please share with me your best Friend Resume either in the comments or on your own blog so I can find out if our Friendship can continue or if we are doomed to remain casual blogging acquaintances. 

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9 thoughts on “Friend Resume, Part Deux

  1. Well, my organizing skills leave something to be desired, I think it’s called a lack of coordination. But, my deficiency there is only surpassed by my inability to convey that inadequacy through baby-talk…for instance…ba ba, binkey, goo goo, ga ga, moo moo juice, da da—yep, still haven’t mastered it yet. However, I am coordinated when it comes to coloring. And I am pretty sure I’ve experienced 10 years worth of partying. I know that’s going to count for something. And I know I can text, if given 6 hours, but my thumbs deserve all the blame. And as far as Facebook is concerned, well I know you’ve been busy, and its been 5 years now, but I’m sure you’ll press that like button on my page any day now. Yes, I am a wonderful listener too, if only my mouth wasn’t going so much. Oh… and I’m not interested in my significant other either, because I have a wife. As for hobbies, I couldn’t help noticing you like Kraft products. I’m particularly interested in there Kraft Macaroni and Cheese. Bored games are probably that way because they lack enthusiasm. I don’t care to bake, but I love to eat. Writing a blog? Someday I’ll have to get around to that. I love Doctor Who, Marvel Comics, and Harry Potter, but I’ve never seen Awesome Stuff. Is it any good, and who stars in it? Reading and starting book clubs that never actually amount to anything, yeah I haven’t made a penny off of them yet either. Drinking beer? Is that anything like Keg guzzling? Hiking, now I do know a lot about that, and I do it every chance I get. Why I just hiked the price up on one of my renters by 60% old Mrs. Smithers is turning 70 this Saturday. That ought to give a cardiac! Teach her to be late on her rent. Friendship history…………I need a little more time on that. I’m almost sure I’ve had one at least. Based on this survey, Sarah, I think we might have a chance at being more than friends. So double-dating—you and I—just might work out, but…do you know of any other couple that might want to go out with us? I’m really, really glad I took this survey. Now we can plan a trip together! 😀

  2. Pingback: Happy Birthday (I guess) | triSARAHtops

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