Every once in a while I will wake up super mad at people, usually Kevin, based on a dream I just had. Usually it’s because I have dreamed them doing something unforgiveable like leaving me behind in a Zombie Apocalypse or telling me my Chocolate Whiskey Cake tastes like crap.
My friends and family are jerks in my dreams.
Once I wake up I’m often confused, not knowing for sure whether I really am mad at Kevin for tripping me in front of a horde of flesh eating monsters or if it really even happened. In my still dreamy state I have a hard time realizing how unlikely it was and instead just glare into the early morning light, silently fuming and plotting my revenge.
It often takes a lot longer than it should before I stop being mad and realize that what happened was in fact a dream and no, my sister did not cut the strings to my parachute causing me to drop near to my death before being rescued by a Koala, no matter how vivid and realistic it felt while I was asleep.
(This one is a recurring dream … analyse that if you wish!)
Some of my more rational dreams take longer for me to realize they are dreams and my anger will slowly simmer until I finally ask the culprit about it, demanding confirmation. Again this usually happens to Kevin … I will suddenly turn to him and ask if I really am mad at him or only mad at dream him. He will say that it is obviously dream him I am mad at and I will narrow my eyes, cross my arms and say “Well, isn’t that what you would say if I really was mad at you and you just wanted me to think I’m not?”
At this point it’s usually best to not engage in a conversation with me until common sense kicks in.
Now, Dear Reader, before you think I am totally crazy (a fair conclusion) this irrational dream behaviour did have a very rational start.
One night many years ago I was awoken by a former paramour biting my nose. It hurt like a mother trucker and I had to smack him in the chest to get him to stop. My gentleman friend woke up rather irritated about being hit repeatedly and an argument quickly followed.
“Why would you hit me? I was asleep!”
“Because you BIT MY NOSE!”
“NO! I only dreamed I bit your nose!”
You can see now why I have some slight trust issues when it comes to sleep?
Alas, I suppose as long as this inability to distinguish dreams from reality doesn’t seep into my day dreams I’m in the clear.