Sadly Sad

Whenever I am sad I just stop being sad and be awesome instead.

Ok. That’s not true. I stole that gem from Barney Stinson as I am currently binge watching ‘How I Met Your Mother’ for the fourth time. (Though knowing how it ends has been a rather bittersweet experience, emphasis on the ‘bitter’.)

The truth, dear reader, is that whenever I am sad I become completely consumed by it. I am not very good at deciding to not be sad or adding perspective to the situation. In fact when I am sad about one thing my brain often focuses on everything else I could possibly be sad about and absorbs it all until I become one giant cookie dough eating mess. (Literally a mess, that cookie dough gets everywhere!)

And these feelings have a tendency to last.

This was not always the case for me. For the last several years I had become brilliant at handling emotions and stress through a combination of meditation, exercise, and good old fashioned analysis (Pro-Con Lists are my deepest love), but since the accident all of my carefully cultivated wisdom has gone out the window.

I react before I think. I emote before I analyze. I cry before I even know why it’s happening.

It’s ugly.

Not just figuratively, I mean literally ugly. I am not an attractive crier. I get snot nosed and red eyed and I hiccup a lot. It’s pretty unfortunate rather than the desired and much coveted unfortunately pretty.

Alas, I am working on fixing this and am confident that in time I will get better at it.

In the meantime I have been going for a lot of walks, continuing my habit of only listening to happy songs (except for the “Last Goodbye” by Billy Boyd … that song has a permanent place in all of my playlists), and trying to limit myself to only oatmeal cookie dough because at least then I can tell my Mother I ate Oatmeal for breakfast.

Oatmeal with chocolate chips.

Mmmm.

And if all else fails I will just look up inspirational quotes on Pinterest will hiccupping into my cookie dough.

Motivational? Perhaps not ... But still delightful!

Motivational? Perhaps not … But still delightful!

 

PS. Billy Boyd, I love you so!

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9 thoughts on “Sadly Sad

  1. Love your insight and honesty–I can totally relate! I truly believe humor is the best medicine and admire the way you seem to be able to find the humor in your struggles–thanks for the great post 🙂

  2. It’s hard to approach emotions rationally for sure. I’ve not been reading your blog long enough to know what “the accident” is, but I hope you’re making your way back to health. Sometimes, if you “allow” yourself a few minutes to get as depressed as you want (or angry or afraid you get the idea) instead of mentally telling yourself you “shouldn’t be feeling this way,” it can actually help you control the feelings. There is something about feeling a certain way but thinking that you SHOULDN’T feel that way that makes the feelings all the more intense. (It’s like laughing in church. Everything is funnier when you’re not supposed to laugh at it, right?)

    Anyway, I read somewhere that giving in the emotion and just intensely feeling it and allowing yourself to feel it for a set time (like actually set a 5 minute timer) is sometimes an effective way to manage that stuff.

    Best,
    KKB

    • That is very great advice, thank you!
      I actually have daily “Worry Time” where I give myself 15 minutes to just rant on paper about everything and anything that upsets me. It’s amazing how much it helps.

  3. Humor is definitely the best medicine in my book too, hon! But it’s also important to know that you can allow yourself to feel sad/bad/angry/anxious (something I’ve been trying to learn myself). As always, I love your candor and honesty, girl! Smile, beautiful! Just like those unicorns, I believe in you! 🙂

  4. Yes! I’m the queen of being sad about one thing and using that as a platform to put on display every screw-up, disappointment, and morose event that happened in my life. It’s quite obnoxious, and I would like to get better at telling myself to just STFU. Be strong!

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