Now That’s a Blog! The Dissatisfaction of Angry Mittens

I am a mitten girl, it’s true. Yes, I know they aren’t the most functional choice for hand warming or, to be honest, always the most fashionable, but still I love them all the same.

For many years while I lived in Edmonton all I would wear when venturing out into the great white north were my bright red mittens. Every day from October through April I would sport these hand-me-down red beauties enjoying the blissful coziness of their warm embrace and feeling just oh-so-very adorable.

Sure there were some drawbacks. I could never text or really use my phone in any way (which was a bit of a problem as you needed a phone to access the transit schedules in Edmonton) and I could never change the song on my iPod, but I didn’t mind. I was cute and that’s all that matters.

mittens

“#@%* you!”

Then one day tragedy struck.

I was crossing the street by my home at 109th and Whyte Avenue, which is not the best of intersections (drivers be crazy!), when all of a sudden it hit me. Like, literally hit me. A car. (Well, I suppose it’s more accurate to say it “bumped” me …) The blow to my thigh nudged me over and my feet skidded on the thick ice. I went down, hard, backside to asphalt. The driver slowed slightly, narrowly avoiding my outstretched leg as they checked to see if I was dead on impact, looking more annoyed than chagrined.

I was furious. With all of the rage and hurt in my heart and buttocks I lifted my hand waving it high in the air as I stood back up, giving the driver the most aggressive middle finger of my life.

To which they waved right back, a small relieved smile on their face as they continued on their merry way.

Suddenly, as if I was an independent observer, I noticed how I looked standing there on the ice waving like a mad lunatic at the driver, my angry finger encased in the bright red mitten, looking for all the world like I was waving the driver on as opposed to enjoying the angry ritual of the middle finger.

It was then I discovered a valuable life lesson: there is nothing more dissatisfying than giving someone the finger while wearing mittens.

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9 thoughts on “Now That’s a Blog! The Dissatisfaction of Angry Mittens

  1. LMAO! As a fellow person who’s been hit by a car in a similar manner, that makes me so mad for you. While at the same time I stifle laughter. What a series of unfortunate events :O

  2. Hahaha! I definitely LOL’d while reading this. I have always been pro-mitten myself (I think they are warmer and way cuter than their glove counterparts) but when it comes to giving the finger to silly drivers who almost run you over, they aren’t they best. 😉

  3. Pingback: 200 plus 10! | triSARAHtops

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