I would appreciate it if you could turn off for a moment, just stop thinking and read this letter. I promise you can think afterwards (or, at least I promise you can think about what I am trying to tell you after). Sound fair?
Well, suck it up buttercup and do it anyway.
In the last decade you have changed, in a lot of ways for the better (yay!). But there are still a few things that are bothering me.
For starters, why is there always something bothering me? I have developed into a constant ball of anxiety, hyper aware all the time and obsessive about things that really don’t matter. The future is going to happen whether or not I have analyzed every possible outcome ever at least twice and then once more with dinosaurs in place of people. I get that a lot of this is due to the accident, but it really isn’t doing us any good.
Secondly, stop worrying about what people are thinking about you. It’s been 27 years, by now you should have realized that people aren’t thinking about you. They really aren’t. And if they are it’s probably something good. Honestly. People don’t usually spend a lot of time thinking about people they don’t like unless they have problems with envy.
Thirdly, can we be done with envy now?
Fourthly (Is fourthly the correct word? Should it just be Fourth?), you are a giant chicken! Stop it! Mistakes are inevitable and are honestly kinda fun. Think about some of our best memories (yes, you are allowed to think for a second). Most of those would have been classified as mistakes if I’d stopped to really consider it. Would you like to have not done those things? No? Me neither! So stop preventing future good memories by being a giant wuss. Sure, sometimes things will not end up the way you hoped, but that’s really not the end of the world.
Fifthly (I should really Google “numbering”), let’s work on our self-confidence, shall we? Self-worth is important. Let’s just fake it until we make it. Repeat after me: I like me.
I have some other “issues” but to be honest they are all kind of repetitive, all stemming from this ugly anxiety and nervousness. But that’s ok, now that I have drawn your attention to it we can just be done with it. No Twelve Steps, no overthinking things, just a new positive attitude and a more “healthy centric” life style, both mentally and physically.
I have to say, I really am looking forward to this. There is always room for self-improvement and it really feels like it’s a good time to start.
Thanks, Brain, for listening and, even more importantly, understanding.