Confession Time: I am a wine poser.
I drink a lot of wine (a lot a lot) and have been to many a wine tasting but I still don’t know much about The Art of Wine. Now, don’t get me wrong, I love a good Riesling now and again and I do know the correct pronunciation of Gewurztraminer (which I constantly point out whenever I can), but I am definitely not a connoisseur.
Still, that doesn’t stop me from pretending to be.
When we go out to wine tastings in the Okanagan I love to spout crap about complexity and flavor notes. I get a smug satisfaction from discussing tannins and the fullness of the bouquet and I love, love, love name dropping wineries we’ve been to.
And pretentious, which instantly makes it more fun.
But the truth is I have no idea what I am talking about. I am never able to find that “hint of apple” or discern the “smoky overtones” and “peppery sweetness”. I don’t know anything about grape varietals and I can’t tell the difference between un-oaked and oaked red wines. I have also yet to find a Malbec that didn’t make my mouth water in a bad way.
And, quite possibly my worst offense, my favourite bottle of wine is only $11.99 at my local liquor store. (White Bear Riesling, check it out. It’s delicious.)
I just drink what tastes good.I know, I know, it’s shameful.
Still, I own two wine glasses the size of my face (courtesy of Kevin) so at least I can look classy as I drink my overpriced Okanagan wines, saving the bottles for Pinterest crafts and so my friends can think I am sophisticated when they arrive at my house and are greeted by a wall of empties.
Every once in a while it occurs to me that I might want to learn more about wine. Perhaps I could buy a book or watch some YouTube videos about the proper way to swirl (or is it swish?) the wine in your glass before tasting ever so delicately?
I could even spend the next several months leading up to our annual Kelowna vacation learning more about what wines age well (as if I leave a bottle un-drunk long enough to “age”) and the art of food pairings. And I should probably consider eating the provided crackers in an effort to cleanse my pallet rather than just wanting a cheap snack.
Perhaps I could surprise Kevin with my newly acquired sophistication, positioning my glasses slightly farther down onto my nose so as to appear the perfect combination of snooty yet suave as I drop facts with casual grace.
At the very least this knowledge might stop me from feeling guilty every time we leave a tasting empty handed (which is never because I always buy just one bottle so as not to offend the sommelier … and yes, I did have to Google that word.).Instead I can pride myself on not buying the wine because it didn’t meet my obviously lofty standards.
Or maybe I’ll just keep drinking what tastes good?