Dear Sheldon Cooper,
I am in love with you.
It was love at first sight the moment you walked across my screen. Your clear dislike and lack of understanding towards social norms is adorable. Your gangly form and inability to grow a manly beard is endearing. Your OCD makes me weak in the knees. I want to spend the rest of my life being awkward with you. I know that you are fictional but that doesn’t change the way I feel. If anything, it makes me love you even more.
Because you are a TV scientist and thus deal in fact, I have come up with “5 Reasons I Am Perfect for You” for your review and subsequent approval:
1. I love listening to people talk. And you talk a lot. (See where I’m going with this?) As a bonus to this, I love learning random facts that have absolutely nothing to do with daily life.
2. I think BAZINGA is the greatest catch phrase of all time.
3. I always tell people when I am being sarcastic. (No need for pesky signs)
4. My favourite spot on the couch is the opposite side to your favourite spot on the couch.
And last but certainly not least …
5. It doesn’t bother me that you like DC more than you like Marvel … Ok, that is a lie. It does bother me, but I am willing to let it go.
For further reasons please feel free to contact me. Until then, I will continue to hope for two more knocks every time someone is at my door.
PS. Please do not confuse my love of Sheldon Cooper with a love of Jim Parsons. Don’t get me wrong, I am sure Mr. Parsons is a lovely man, but the only interest I have in him is that he is you for half an hour every Thursday.