He Speaks Russian in French

My brother is awesome. This isn’t me bragging, it’s just a fact of life.

Think of the most interesting man in the world. Yes, I mean that guy from the Dos Equis commercials. Now multiply his awesomeness by a LARGE number and you have my brother.

I used to follow my brother around when I was younger (it drove him nuts) and occasionally, during my less annoying moments, he deigned to spend time with me. I still have fond memories of the time he took me out into the backyard and spent hours teaching me the proper way to fall when thrown. It didn’t occur to me then that he was teaching me so that he could be the one to throw me.

Whatever. It was still awesome.

Now, with my brother an entire ocean away, I am left with only memories and the occasional hilariously mocking voicemail to remind me of his greatness.

But what about you, dear reader? How are you able to revel in the awesomeness that is DAP?

How are you to even know, let alone appreciate, how great he is without 24 years of examples?

Well, this list is how!

To give you an idea of how much better my brother is than your garden variety, everyday awesome person (eg. me) I submit for the approval of the Midnight Society I present “4 Ways DAP is Better than SMRP”:

1) He gets his original work published in a Literary Guide. I am made fun of by TV Guide.

2) When David falls in the snow he finds iced cold beer. When I fall in the same spot I break my glasses.

3) He beat the Great Gatsby game in half an hour. I am still playing it four months later. (I just can’t get past those damn eyes!)

4) David rides his bike down Cecil Blog with no hands. My bike rides down Cecil Blog on me, complete with scraped hands.

I have more examples, and am always interested in discussing the bizarre phenomenon that is my brother’s and my strange Reverse Karma, but I feel that four published reasons is all my ego can take.

Thanks, big brother, for allowing me to brag incessantly about you to all of my friends. You’re swell.

I didn’t actually win this race.

One thought on “He Speaks Russian in French

  1. I read this to him and his initial response was “well, I *did* teach her to fall properly. If you don’t fall properly and someone throws you, you can get seriously hurt!” 🙂 That said, if my brother offered to teach me how to fall properly, I’d tell him where to go.

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