(Back to Rants)
A week ago on a Wednesday I fired my employer.
I know what you’re thinking … at least, I know what you are thinking if you are thinking “how can you possibly fire an employer?” Well, I’m here to tell you how! Still, before I get into the details of firing a boss, I should probably give you some background information.
I won’t tell you the name of this joke of an employer (let’s avoid Libel, shall we?) but I will go so far as to tell you that they are a Placement Agency.
I am usually a big fan of the Placement Agency as it saves me from having to go to interviews. This may come as a surprise to you, but my awkwardness does not translate well in interviews (I am still baffled about my hiring at Chapters after demonstrating my Penguin Shuffle to the interviewer). It’s shocking, I know, but it’s a cold hard fact of life that awkwardness and interviews usually don’t mix.
As already stated, Placement Agencies take the interviews out of employment opportunities (along with $6+ of your hourly wage) and are thus the main way I search for work.
My first experience with this agency should’ve also been my last. My interview awkwardness was outdone by the sheer lack of professionalism of the interviewer. Not only did my interviewer have no record of the skill testing I had already done for the agency, she also started interviewing me off a resume for Thomas, a gentleman who was looking for construction opportunities (I knew I should’ve shaved my playoff beard). Believe it or not, the interview went downhill from there.
Still, I decided to give her the benefit of the doubt.
Within a week she called to tell me that she had found the perfect placement for my “skill set”. It was a Tuesday and I was to start the following Monday. Despite my asking, my employer chose not to tell me anything about the job (location, duties, timeline etc) except the name of the company and that I was to earn $11/hour. Still, after two months of unemployment, I was thrilled.
Monday came and went, and the placement did not start.
Another Monday came and went, and the placement did not start.
After the third week of continuous unreturned phone calls, I decided to set up an interview with a new agency.
This was, of course, when my original employer called. I took the 45 minute bus ride into town and arrived at the office for 9am, ready to receive the relevant information and excited to start work in two days time. I was in the office for 2 minutes before she dismissed me to continue painting her nails.
And this is where it gets good. When I was hired by the Agency, I filled out a form stating that I was only available to work in the downtown core or in Westshore due to transportation issues (this is the polite way of saying I take the bus). Still, even with this information written in All Caps on the front page of my employee portfolio, my employer had given me a job at the Victoria Airport, a minimum two hour commute to and from my house. This works out to be 20 hours of transit time per week.
20 hours of transit time, per week, for $11/ hour.
After receiving this information, and after the three weeks of absolute silence and disrespect from the agency, I made like Donald and fired that *insert expletive*.
To say she was shocked is an understatement.
To say I felt bad is a lie.
It was actually quite cathartic, and it turned out to be the best thing I have done since returning to Victoria. The new agency I am employed at found me a far less degrading position literally the day after the interview.
The lesson I learned from all this?
Firing is fun. (Thank you, Donald Trump. You taught me well.)