This Sunday I have a date with a facemask and season 2 of Gilmore Girls. I’m a little nervous … it’s been a while since we were last united. What if we don’t have anything in common anymore? What if the jokes have grown stale? To ensure the reunion runs smoothly I bought some wine, a nice $6 bottle from the refrigerator at the back of the Liquor Store. Arbour Mist, Blackberry.
I find it’s important to stay classy in these situations.
Still, despite my nervousness, I am much more excited about this date than I have been about my most recent “real dates”. Why is that, you ask?
Because dating sucks.
No sugar coating it for you folks. Actual dating is nothing like in the movies (you know, except the movies where dating sucks). Dates are filled with awkward conversation, self conscious nervousness and anxiety over who pays the bill. Sure, there’s the odd date where things just click, where everything is easy and natural and you’re left feeling giddy and excited.
But that’s rare.
More often than not you wind up at home, alone, reaching for that old standby novel or movie that will “bring back the hope” and remind you that there are good men out there.
Good men really do exist! The pitfall? These standbys are just preventing you from recognizing them. How can real men ever live up to the selflessness of Jamie Fraser? Or compare to the all consuming love of Mr. Darcy? They can’t. These men aren’t real.
Repeat after me: These men aren’t real.
Still, it’s only natural to have a literary or movie crush. Everyone does. Mine? Well, mine are fairly predictable.
You’d like me to post my list of Fictional Crushes? Of course you would!
In no particular order, I bring to you, Dad, my list of hopeful husbands. All smart, all funny, and all 100% fictional:
1) Peeta Mellarck (The Hunger Games Trilogy) – Peeta, like the aforementioned Jamie Fraser (from the Outlander novels, in case you live under a rock or are a male reader) is the ideal man. *insert girly sigh and wistful smile here*
2) John Pritkin (The Cassie Palmer books by Karen Chance) – A literary response to Buffy’s Angel, dangerously dark, brooding and oh so very sexy.
3) Gilbert Blythe (Anne of Green Gables) – the perfect boy next door.
4) Luke Danes (Gilmore Girls) – the perfect man next door.
5) Duckie (Pretty in Pink) – he obviously should’ve gotten the girl.
These fictional crushes, combined with every Julia Quinn hero and Lisa Kleypas heartthrob, have gotten me through bad dates and consoled me after messy breakups. They are my hopeful husbands, my fictional fancies, my literary lovers. (I told you I love alliteration!)
After all, everybody needs the fantasy while waiting for Mr. Right.