I suffer from a constant need to apologize. It’s a very Canadian trait, and can be (is) pretty irritating to those around me. I (always) say something awkward? I’m sorry. I win the board game? I’m sorry. Someone bumps into me with their shopping cart? I’m sorry.
I saturate the internet with longwinded blog entries and rants, filled with improper grammar and an obvious love affair with commas? Really, I’m sorry.
The most unfortunate side effect of this is that, when lacking in things to apologize for, I create them. I will take the most minor infraction and grovel at your feet. Honest.
In this instance, I am going to apologize to you, dear reader (Dad) for my original introduction to this blog. It really gave you no information at all. This was completely deliberate on my part. It was a gimmick. I wanted to be vague; I wanted to give myself a false air of mystery so that you would be compelled to keep reading. (Did it work?)
But I am here to rectify that!
This blog entry won’t be a rant. Instead I am going to take this opportunity to tell you 12 things about myself. 13 if you count my propensity to apologize – ah heck, let’s count it! I may as well go for a baker’s dozen!
So, without further ado, I bring to you twelve facts about SMRP:
1) I love dinosaurs. This stems from my childhood believe that triSARAHtops were named after me. Even after the crushing disappointment of learning that it is, in fact, spelled triceratops, I still love dinosaurs. Jurassic Park FTW!
2) I talk smack. A Lot. And I only talk smack for things that I can’t back up. I also like to challenge people much stronger than me to fisticuffs. It’s part of living dangerously.
3) I have horrible taste in Television. My love of classic shows like Dr. Who and Veronica Mars is balanced by my obsession with Highlander and the BBC Robin Hood. The cheesier the show, the more I love it.
4) That being said, I also have terrible taste in Music. For every Josh Ritter and Black Keys album on my Ipod there is an equal number of Miley Cyrus and Glee songs. (My latest obsession? Score: The Hockey Musical Soundtrack)
And, you guessed it,
5) I love, love, love bad movies. Conan? Amazing! Excalibur? Hilarious! The movie Outlander actually made it into my Top Ten Movies of ALL TIME. (Aliens? Check. Vikings? Check. Time Travel? Check. A freaking Dragon? CHECK! What’s not to love?)
6) I have an uncanny ability to make every situation awkward. ‘Nuff said.
7) I cheat on “Which House?” quizzes so that I can end up in Ravenclaw when I really belong in Hufflepuff. (Can you tell I’m a diehard Harry Potter fan?)
8 ) I have a serious obsession with Travel. I collect travel books and make collages. Taped to my closet door is a list of destinations I need to visit and things I need to do before I turn 35.
9) My signature dance move is the Penguin. It’s pretty amazing.
10) I can’t bake under pressure. Explanation? A batch of cookies made for my own gluttonous enjoyment? Delicious! A cake baked to bring to a friend’s house? Densely disgusting.
11) Following number ten, I have a love of alliteration and rhyming. Honestly, I write terrible poetry all the time just to get my fix.
Which brings me to …
12) I love to write, but I was crippled early on by misplaced arrogance. When I was younger everyone told me that I could and should write, which went straight to my head. Now I only write for myself as I am too terrified of people thinking I didn’t fulfill my “potential”.
So, do feel as if you know me any better?